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-07-08-06- Welcome back. As you may or may not know, I am an English teacher in South Korea. And there are things you must know about Korea before you come here.Things like how to say “thank you,” and “hello,” and warnings about fan death and the spring dust storms. But those are things you “need to know.” What are the things you don't need to know? Let me tell you. There are three important ones. StarCraft, Ajummas, and Handpones. |
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Let us start with StarCraft, this being a science fiction magazine and all. StarCraft, for all you n00bs out there, is a war strategy game in which you fight battles across the galaxy as three different races: Terrans, the Zerg, and the Protoss. Terrans are, of course, humans. The Zerg are much like a cross between Alien and the bugs from Starship Troopers. And the Protoss are a religious alien race that's far advanced. Nothing out of the ordinary, but a fun game to play. It was created in 1998, and it is Korea's unofficial national sport. People swarm in the thousands to PC Rooms in every city and town here to play StarCraft. They have televised matches. Teenage girls worship the best players and throw their soiled panties... well, maybe the panties thing doesn't happen. But people here are obsessed with it. They have new games, better graphics, better stories, but they still always return to StarCraft. Ajummas are mean, one-toothed old women who are pushy and sell weeds in the subway stations, and boil silkworm casings in hubcaps that they sell on the side of the street as food. They are the future of all Korean women who don't bother to go to English Academy. Consider yourself warned, children. The last thing you don't need to know about Korea is handpones. Say it out loud. Hand + Pones. This is because f's are non-existent in the Korean language and are, by default, p's. It's really “handphones,” and those are really cell-phones (because . . . regular phones don't use . . . hands?) They have cell phones here that put American phones to shame. All the functionality of a PDA, along with the option to watch TV, listen to mp3's, not to mention VIDEO CAMERAS built it. And these are the phones that my 9-YEAR-OLD STUDENTS have. They have cell-phones that cost more than a small home in Nebraska. But . . . even though they probably have phones capable of parallel parking their Hyundai remotely, it's nice to know that they're most likely watching idolized computer geeks play StarCraft. En Taro Adun, Korea. This issue we have a great story about the love told from a microscopic perspective, a funny one about opening e-mail attachments, a strange one about the WTC and witches and something-- I'm not quite sure -- you'll just have to read it. Then there's one about taking back the night, with a crushing, clamping vengeance, and finally, there's a concise one about verbosity.
Enjoy, Adicus Ryan Garton, editor
Atomjack Press is a subdivision of the Cyrus Corporation. ©2006 susurrus press
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